When Kelly & I planned our Marine Corps trip to DC, we decided to fly into Baltimore & rent a car to drive to DC. Why? There were better flight times & I was attempting to minimize the amount of time my husband would have to take off of work (for the 5 kiddos). When we arrived for our 6pm Southwest Airlines flight out of Louisville, I should have taken the almost full long-term parking and the security line as a sign of things to come. Our little Louisville Airport usually has a fairly manageable security line - 15-20 max minutes to get through. However, on this night, the line snaked through the main corrals, through the secondary corrals, through the meet & greet area and down the escalator. What's up with that? Turns out that a home & garden show had been in town for the week & had just let out. Apparently everyone decided to leave Louisville at the same time.
Kelly & I gamely got into line to wait (we were at the airport with plenty of time) and were immediately hemmed in by what looked to be every attendee at the garden show. In front, behind, both sides, we were completely surrounded by convention attendees who acted like they were still enjoying the party atmosphere of what appeared to be maybe their first time away from home (or at least from the wife). This one 
group standing behind us kept getting closer and closer until they were practically standing on top of us. If either of us were better endowed I'd think they were trying to get a look:) Then, when we got to the point where you actually have to take off shoes, belts, earrings, jackets & practically everything else you're wearing, they thought stripper jokes were very funny...hmmm - who knew that home & garden guys were such party animals?We finally made it through the line & were actually lucky enough to arrive at the gate where we were still near the front of the line for the "A" group. We wait, and wait, and wait some more. Finally the airline person announces that our plane should be landing soon. Wait some more - the plane arrives, the passengers get off, another announcement. There's a mechanical problem on our aircraft - something about the deicers. The mechanic is on the way. Wait some more - announcement that it should be 15 more minutes. Tick-tock. Finally, another announcement (as an aside, don't you hate it when they keep talking but only give you bad news. Each time you hear the PA come on you think - this is finally it! Time to board. But alas, it's always bad news.) We are going to switch aircraft and gates. Wow, I've never seen people move so fast. All of a sudden all those people at the back of the boarding groups see an opportunity to rectify what would probably have been an uncomfortable middle seat. People are jumping over seats, pushing around posts and each other. Something is just not right about this whole process. Good new, though. Kelly must have been a gymnast in a previous life because somehow, we end up near the front of the line again. Yeah Kelly!
Finally, we're on the plane. They give the usual Southwest spiel & we're airborne. They even offer free alcoholic beverages for all of our trouble. Unfortunately, the ride was so bumpy that they had to pick them right back up. That's okay, we made it to Baltimore in one piece & we were only 3 hours late.
Off to baggage claim, onto the rental car bus, out at the Hertz counter. We rent our gas guzzling Toyota SUV & are almost out the door. Wait - the rental car lady tells us we should take a different route than our handy dandy Mapquest directions because the highway is under construction. Who cares that it's almost midnight & pouring down rain, she's convinced that we'll wait for hours if we follow our route so we make a few quick notes & switch to hers. It's all good she says, her route will merge into ours so if we just follow our directions after we get off the highway all will work out. Right? Wrong!
We did actually make it out of the building and into our car. However, that was the last time
we made it anywhere without getting lost! Who would have thought that following directions would be so hard? I've driven in Atlanta, San Francisco, Chicago, NYC, LA - never a problem. I just can't seem to drive in the Baltimore/DC area. Our first error (and really just a sign of things to come) was when we turned the wrong way out of the rental car garage. The rain was blinding but we actually thought we were following directions. Their version of left at the stop sign & ours was just different I guess. After getting turned around the right way we made it onto the highway headed towards DC. Making decent time in the storm, we dodged slow drivers, fast drivers, people without their lights on & still managed (I think) to actually take the right exit off the highway. After that, though, things went quickly wrong again. We kept going, and going, and going hoping to see some magic turnoff to our hotel in Arlington. We never did find it but almost managed to hit what I think might have been the Capital Building. At that point, Kelly called Ben (her husband). She woke him up or interrupted a video game or something but he was nice enough to play along. He somehow figured out where we were & how to get where we were going. As I was continuing to move forward while he was giving directions it was sometimes tricky for him to actually pinpoint things. Street names kept changing too. We'd be going forward on a letter street only to find out that we were suddenly on a number street. This happened several times and we never actually made a turn. Go figure. Ben got us out of DC and pointed in the right direction. Yeah for Ben!10 minutes later we rolled into our hotel parking lot. We had chosen a hotel recommended by the race travel agency that was close to both the start & the finish line. Given the room rate, I was expecting it to be a nice hotel. NOT! The first tipoff was when the man at the front desk seemed upset by the fact that someone was actually checking in & bothering whatever it was that he was doing. He finally looked up at us took my name typed a few things on the computer & we thought he was checking us in. Minutes went by - boy he was slow - before another front desk guy just apparently wandered by. 1st front desk guy told 2nd front desk guy to check us in - huh? I'm not sure what 1st front desk guy was doing but it apparently didn't involve us. (Not sure I really want to know anyway). We start over again with 2nd front desk guy & somehow manage to obtain a room key. Finally! We grab our bags from the car, drag them to the very small, creaky elevator and make it to our room. Without elaborate explanations, I'll just say that it was the first time I ever stayed in a hotel where I considered actively checking for bedbugs! Yuck! (We don't recommend the Virginian Suites in Arlington.)
Next day, we head out to breakfast and get lost - but the chocolate pancakes at IHOP were worth it. We go to the race expo (and get lost). We go shopping (and get lost). You're probably getting the gist of things. I will say that Kelly was remarkably patient when I made her read the detailed Mapquest directions over & over again - even to the point of repeating distances, exit names, etc. In our defense, it really does seem that the directions were wrong. We'd head towards a street where we were to take a left turn and there would be none. Repeatedly we'd be following directions toward the Memorial Street Bridge & we'd miss it. Now, I'm not sure how hard it is to find a bridge that was apparently less that 1/2 mile from our hotel, but we never found it. The morning of the race we were able to find the train station that would get us to the start of the race but we somehow got on going the wrong way. (We did get turned around in time). I truly don't think I've ever been so turned around in my life. This city just doesn't make sense. We got lost so many times that we began to recognize alternate exits that we would take to get back to our starting place to begin again.
Finally, the race was over & it was time to go home on Monday morning. We were leaving extra early to get back to Baltimore for our 9 am flight because we heard the traffic could be brutal. All I can say is it was a good thing because......WE GOT LOST!
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