Pondering...

This song perfectly describes me today - Am I the Only One?

I find myself looking at my life & wondering when I changed from being a smart, successful woman to being a live-in housekeeper, laundress & chauffeur...I used to have a career, I made real money, I was successful....I guess I used to feel important. I wonder, would anyone notice if I disappeared tomorrow? Probably the kids because no one would do the laundry & they wouldn't have rides home from school, my husband maybe because he wouldn't have his resident secretary to give "to-do" lists to and possibly the Fedex guy who waves at me when I run. My kids sometimes make comments about me "doing nothing all day" & how their friends moms have real jobs. When did my husband's career so take over our lives that who I am was sucked into it too? Even my parents point out the my husband is a CFO, my brother is a DR & my sister-in-law is a CPA...they leave off there but I know they're thinking that I'm not, well, anything.

There was probably a little piece inside of me thinking about this when I signed up for the Ironman this year. No, I'm not any of those important things that they are, but I'm going to accomplish this really hard thing that they can't do & maybe, then, my they'll look at me less like a piece of furniture & more like that accomplished lady I used to be. Somehow, I doubt it. Running 2 full & countless half marathons didn't do the trick & they've all made it clear that there's really nothing I do in my life that interests them but a little piece of me hopes...and then I wonder, do I really care?